Friday, 7 November 2008

Shut me up, someone.

Isn't it bizarre? The way one single moment can determine your whole day, your whole week, even longer than that. A tiny trigger that pulls on a wire inside of your brain. It feels cataclysmic, at the time. A cascade of hurt and insecurity. The smallest of events can upset an equilibrium, and it breaks your heart as it shifts. How can it be possible that someone can change something inside of you, how is that literally possible?

I hate it that it is possible to allow someone that much access, that much power. The way they can reach inside of you and flick your happy switch until its angry and you're back to where you were before. Angst. It's so pointless, it gains nothing, and it's so inconceivable to live without. Self-destructive behaviour is funny in a kind of ironic way; it is raged against as much as the thing you're raging against in the first place. If that makes sense at all.

I obviously need medication.

No, I'm joking, I'm just a little upset. My apologies for venting it on t'internet.

2 comments:

Kimmaayy..! said...

I can't stress this enough; YOU ARE AN AMAZING WRITER!!! I'mnot sure how you do it, but you write exactly how I feel, and it amazes me everytime. I feel the need to take notes, so I can quote you in future conversations. Amy, you are brilliant! ILY! OOOOO

strict machine said...

you really are an amazing writer amy. its so true.