Friday, 7 November 2008

Just a big softie really...



I am cold today. Like, seriously cold. I feel as if I've been cold for about a month and not warmed up in between. But anyway...

Today I went for coffee with a friend who I haven't seen in a few months because she's at university. It was rather nice actually, and not at all weird, which I thought it might be, as it sometimes is when you meet up with someone you haven't seen in ages and it's all "Hi, how are you?" and "I'm good, you?" and all that other BS. But it wasn't like that at all; it was wonderfully nostalgic and comfortable and made me excited about what my life will be like soon.

But meeting her made me really appreciate what a wonderful thing it is to have friends that it doesn't matter if you don't see them everyday. And I would just like to say a few words to a group of people that I love.

Kim, Katie, Mel, Linnea, Lindsay. I think we would be good friends. I think we are good friends. I've never felt such a sense of community as I do talking to all of you. I am (and have been for a long time) very 'out' with my friends, and they are very open and accepting, but there is something in that word 'community'. There is something special about feeling that you are free to say whatever you like and no one is going to judge you for it. And that everytime you say 'I think [insert female celebrity here] is hot', people aren't going to be reminding themselves, 'Oh yeah, she's a lesbian, I forgot' etc.

I think I have often enjoyed the fact that the things I say sometimes shock people. I don't think it's possible to be a lesbian/bisexual and not shock people on occasions. But there comes a time when you feel the need to settle down, so to speak, and to be able to feel more normal. If your primary friend group is straight, I think a little part of you always feels like you have to be on guard, like you're hiding a small part of yourself, no matter how comfortable you are with your sexuality.

I don't feel this way with you. So thank you all, you make me happy. Sappy moment over.

3 comments:

Kimmaayy..! said...

Man, everything I think about when I'm with my straight friends, you have just stated! I've said this a few times already, but you are a really good writer. I find it hard to put emotions to words, but you make it seem so easy. Like what you said about feeling awkward seeing someone you haven't seen in a while, you described it perfectly! Anyways, you are such a swetheart, and I think we'd have sooooo much fun if we were ever to meet in person...

strict machine said...

i completly agree. i think we make such a good bunch and i have never felt that same way as you have described before. i dont know alot of lesbians in real life and most of the one i know im not very close with. i love our mutley bunch, you make me laugh, make me feel accepted and yeah, i cant describe it better than you have.

ikke said...

I agre with what you said, i think team msn is becoming a new little family in a way for me. and i think you guys are great.